Sometimes its hard

Sometimes it is hard to put into words exactly how you are feeling. I have attempted to write a new post for a while now, but every time I start, I re-read what I have written and feel discontent. To be quite honest with everyone, I am not sure of how I feel right now.

There are so many emotions that are experienced throughout a day here in Kenya, that I am generally exhausted by dinner time (my tired state could also be due to the rooster that crows periodically all day, and all night long, but that can be another entry).

My time here in Kenya has been such a blessing. Each day is a reminder of God's excellence, His power, and His grace. It is such an encouragement to be working with people who are so passionate about loving God and loving others. Passionate people are so necessary in this field. Day-to-day experiences are so difficult, that anyone who is anything less than passionate, committed, and empowered by the love of Christ, is not going to last more than one week. I thank God for the people at MOHI, because they fill me up -I fuel up on the excess love that pours out from them. There are days when I do not feel like the up-beat, go-get-em Christian that I want to be. I get out of bed and I do not feel overwhelmed by the love of Christ. And yet, I get to the center, I see my teammates' (fellow CHE members) faces, and I feel it. It is an exhilarating attitude that captivates my being and anyone else who happens to be in the room with them. They are such a great reminder of what is happening here in Mathare. When Christ comes into your life, he fills you up so full that you alone cannot contain the love, and it just pours out from you and fills up those around you.

Mathare is huge, and right now there is a lot of people who have never heard of the love of Christ. But when we move out into the slums, when we bring the light of Christ, I see that same love pouring out. I see people being filled with hope. Walking down the streets of Mathare I see love radiating from this team. They walk with purpose, with passion, and with a desire to see that all of God's children feel the love.

When I am in a slump; in those moments when I doubt I can make a difference, my prayer is this, that God would fill me up. He promises to fill us up until the point where his love flows out of us, and I believe his promises. Mathare valley needs people to walk the streets and to pour out Christ's love. Illinois needs people to walk the streets and pour out Christ's love. Michigan needs people to walk the streets and pour out Christ's love. ____(fill in the blank) needs people to walk the streets and pour out Christ's love. I know that whatever I face, I know God is faithful to fulfill his promises. When I come to him asking to be filled, my cup will overflow. So now all I have to do is take that cup to the streets, so that where I walk, the love of Jesus would just flow out.

I guess it's time to take a walk.