It is a huge change, a drastic change, a change so abrupt I can’t believe I hadn’t seen it before. I have been reaping the benefits of this change for almost 4 months without ever confirming in my mind the reason for such change.
The difference comes from living a low-stress life since moving to Kenya. The weight of worry has been lifted from my chest and I have been able to move about my day without little ‘pings’ of worry constantly popping into my head. Ironically I had to move to halfway across the world to be freed of the weight, but I now know that this satisfying relief doesn’t have to come with such drastic measures.
This morning in Sunday service the message was about worry. I liked how the definition of worry was simplified to a “preoccupation with tomorrow.” Worry works in opposition of prayer. Where prayer makes our troubles smaller, worry tends to magnify those same difficulties.
Now I don’t really want to detail the entire message, so I would encourage everyone to read Matthew 6. While we might not have the same worries as the people did during Jesus’ day, the same principle applies –why worry? Do we not have faith?
This message came at such an appropriate time because it reminded me of a story I wanted to share with you, a story of worry and faith.
The growth that has occurred in Missions of Hope over the past few years has been astronomical. In the year 2000, there were only 50 students, and today there are almost 6,000 –just to give you a rough estimate of how fast this mission is taking off. With the rapid influx of children, numerous buildings have had be constructed…. a task much different than what one might expect in the States. I was talking to Mary (the director of Misisons of Hope) the other night about how she was doing. Here recently she has been out late with numerous meetings, traveling for funerals, comforting family that is in the hospital, finding high schools to accept all of the graduating 8th graders, and she has also been in-charge of orchestrating the construction chaos. I have seen her pushed to the max, and yet each morning she is rejuvenated with a strength that can only come of God (because I know its not from the 4-6 hours of sleep she get every night)
Her response to my inquisition was one of displeasure, but also one of hope. The construction accounts had been quickly dwindling, and all construction was to end at the end of the week unless they were able to pay the workers for the supplies used (it works differently here in Kenya –workers work and buy all the supplies, the purchases are then complied and they are reimbursed by the end of the week). In any case, the account was at a meager 285,000/= or about $3,500. “I know our God will come through –He always does.” And that next morning, like every morning she prayed what was on her heart. Everything works on God’s time –sometimes its slow, and sometimes its fast –and sometimes its answered even before we pray!
In this case, God answered Mary’s prayer immediately, and in a way only He can do. A few hours after Mary had opened up to me, I found out that a couple from Oregon had just made a donation to MoHI; just a small contribution of $100,000!!!! When Mary found out you can imagine the commotion that she started –and her ecstasy was contagious. Tears streamed down her face and as she wept all she could say is, “I serve a mighty God who has heard my prayer. He is so faithful.” He is a God who knows the concerns of our heart before we even pray.
So now jumping back to my own life –I just want to make mention of how much different life can be when we do not let worry have control of us. I have let stress run my life before; I have spent countless hours toiling away with worrisome thoughts, and yet none of those hours have ever mounted to anything productive. Worry is a waste of life, but still I worried. Now that I look back on it, it seems somewhat silly –the problems that I had were so insignificant when compared to others. For example, I worried over grades, where I was going to live, what summer job I was going to find, my running performance, school applications, I would even fret about making sure I didn’t ignore my family. We all have our worries, and those worries seem to consume our life, at least for a certain season. But have you ever met someone who doesn’t break under what would be classified as a stressful situation? Have you met someone whose girth is made up of something much stronger than optimistic character?
People whose character is reinforced with faith persevere through trials. They are not burdened by their own worry. For they take care of what they can today, and let God take care of tomorrow. What I have noticed is that living with Mary and Wallace produces a totally different atmosphere than what I was used to in the States. Their ease of mind and complete reliance on God is not only a relief but it is also an encouragement to pursue the same. For the past four months I have felt at ease, confidently knowing that the Lord knows my requests. He knows my heart better than I do, and so when I think about how much he loves me, I know he will make a way.
I am blessed to live in a place where I am reminded of this promise every day. Every day I encounter a situation in which God’s grace and His provision are blatant: HIV/AIDS patients who were once bed ridden now lead Bible studies, children with abusive parents find grace with new families, street boys whose who sniff glue are reconciled to Christ, the woman who was to be evicted from her home now has a job so she can pay her rent for all of her family. Day in and day out God reveals his good grace.
The difference between Kenya and America is our devotion. The reason I wasn’t able to fully rely on God was because my first devotion was not to him, but to myself. I was devoted to school, devoted to running, devoted to my family –so much that I sought control over those things. But God says to seek first the Kingdom of God. “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” God has an agenda for this world, and it might not be our own.
I am surrounded by people who make Christ their first devotion, and I see what a difference it makes. The only way that we can find victory over worry is if we surrender our will to the Lord. There is victory in surrender because His will is supreme and our power over the future is non-existent. So why not surrender to the one who loves us and cares for us? Why not turn in our worries for a promise of hope? It will be a change –a drastically enormous, monumentally extraordinary change, but it’s worth it!
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